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There are several times in the course of the year where we frantically search for THE perfect date ideas. Unique date activities or excursions that’ll knock that special someone off their feet and they’ll finally look at you and say, “Wow, you really are the one”. (Dates rarely produce this revelation, but they should.)
Search all you want, but you will NEVER find one answer for the Perfect Date. Why? Because simply put, and I bet you knew this, the perfect date doesn’t exist.
I know now you're wondering how we could have possibly developed a formula for something that we already agree doesn’t exist. Well, upon reading this you won’t discover what to do for the perfect date, but how to date to achieve the perfect date.
"The perfect date doesn't exist"
The reality is, if your with someone who is really into you, you likely don't have to do much to make them think their date with you was perfect, but if you're like the rest of us we have to plan, take steps, and put in the effort to truly make a notable difference when it comes to the dating experience.
This is Part 1 of the Perfect Date Formula, conceived in three parts:
What you do BEFORE the date
What you do DURING the date
What you do AFTER the date
No matter where you go, axe throwing, a cooking class, the museum, the aquarium, anywhere you go, the Perfect Date Formula will work to enhance your overall date night experience. These steps do work so they're vital to use when dating. Whether this is your first night out together or if it's your 3000th date after 50 years of marriage, this formula still applies and works like a charm.
Before The Date
What you do before the date is all about setting the scene and controlling the narrative surrounding your impending evening together. Start aligning your messaging and planting the seed of how great the date will be weeks out. In general planning before the date needs to be broken out into two sections: what you do days or weeks leading up to the date and what you do the day of the date, hours before the evening begins.
Weeks/Day Out from the Date
First things first, if you asked this person on a date, do not then ask them what they want to do. Before you ask for the date, plan it! Know where, when, and what time you want to go on the date before you even pick up the phone to ask them out. The person on the other end of the line will be more inclined to say yes to finite plans and planning is always sexy.
While deciding on a date idea, think about a past conversation and use that for inspiration. If this is your first date together ask "Is there something you've been dying to try?" Maybe they'll have an answer which may make it a lot easier on you, if they don't do some research and keep it simple especially if it's your first few dates.
Days leading up to your outing you should also send your date a message.
- "I am looking forward to seeing you this weekend"
- "This is what I am wearing Friday night"*share a photo in your date night look
- "I miss your company, Friday can't come fast enough"
If you decide to eat at a restaurant for date night,(which I do not recommend) you should think ahead. If this is your first few dates together be sure you pick the restaurant location especially if you are expected to pay. Review the menu of the restaurant you plan to go to in advance and think of the 75% rule.
The 75% Rule
If you can't afford at least 75% of the items on the menu, do not take your date to this restaurant. You can avoid a lot of awkward conversations by embracing the seriousness of this step. Do not EVER spend over your means for a date. To try to get your date to focus on the 75% of the menu you can afford, share with them what you plan to order.
"I'm thinking about getting the chicken, what about you?"
This allows you to get ahead of the problem before the bill comes. Usually, your date will be less inclined to order the lobster if you order the chicken. If your date still proceeds to order the 25% that you cannot afford, be honest. Maybe saying "this isn't in my budget right now" will kill the mood, but you've walked away with a valuable3 lesson, that this person isn't for you. You want someone with compassion and to care about your comfort, if you share what you can't afford and they get upset, make this the last date you have together. Otherwise, most people will understand and will adjust; remember, a dinner date is not so much about what you eat, but who you decide to eat with.
Finally, the last thing you should do days leading up to your date is call or send a text to your date. The message should reflect that you are not only thinking of them, but reminds them of the plans you made together. If you live with the person you're dating, write them a physical note or leave behind a little gift that shows you care, you're ready for date night, and thinking of them.
Night of the Date
Now it's time for action! You laid the groundwork for a perfect date, now it's time to do some last minute preparation to ensure that as few obstacles get in your way as possible. As you are headed into the final hours of the big night, use this checklist to ensure you're prepared for anything.
Mental Checklist
Check your wallet for your ID, cards, and cash: Have all three with you at all times. You may run into a place that only takes cash, so you don't want to ruin the mood because you did not think ahead.
Check your bank account: Unexpected or even fraudulent charges could hit your account at any time. You don't want to realize you can't pay your bill or tab for one reason or another at the end of the evening.
Check the weather: If the forecast looks like there might be a chance of rain, go ahead and put your umbrella in the car or bring it with you, just in case.
Check your gas: If you plan on driving to the date or you have to pick your date up first, check your car in advance to ensure you have gas and everything is running smoothly. You don't want to interrupt the date or even worse be late because you needed gas in your car.
Pull up your date destination: Before you get in the car, look up the destination on your phone. Review the traffic patterns and plan accordingly. You want to arrive before your date, so plan to be a little early.
Have some mints on hand. You never know when the mood might strike, keep some non-gum breath fresheners on you as you head into the date.
What you do before a date is an extension of creating a perfect date night. Do not take before the date for granted and use some of these tips to maximize the moment and to ensure your romantic evening together goes more smoothly.
You can't plan for everything, but you can be prepared, so make an effort to do all you can by following the Perfect Date Formula.