Addition | M.A.T.H. (Making Adjustments Towards Happiness)
I have had countless relations in my life span, some I thought were successful while others dismally failed. I have coached, coddled, counseled, led and supported others through countless transitions in their life.
The recurring question that I've been asked is how do you know when a person or persons should remain in your life. Relationships are a lot like math; you need the right formula to produce the right outcome. So, this year I am challenging you to up your M.A.T.H game by Making Adjustments Towards Happiness.
Most of us had an introduction to math by learning the fundamentals, addition, subtraction, multiplication division. So first, let’s start with addition.
Addition is the simplest and most basic concept to grasp. One of the actual definitions of addition is “the action or process of adding something to something else.” To truly begin to make adjustments towards happiness you have to have people in your life who add value to it. However, we first have to ensure that you recognize and embrace your own value. This is the law of attraction, we attract the people who reflect us. But how do we know if someone is adding value to our lives? Think hard about the people you choose to surround yourself with in your everyday life. Are they affirming? Do they see your gifts and talents even when sometimes you don’t see them in yourself?
If someone is adding value to your life they not only appreciate you, but help, support, and encourage positive growth in various areas of your life. People who add value listen and not just hear you when you share a challenge or a problem. When a person is listening and not just hearing, they ask questions to learn more about your perspective and if necessary provide a different perspective in the conversation.
Think, who are the first people you want to call to share good news or bad news? These are people who don't want to change the core of who you, but actively embrace YOU, flaws and all. In your busy everyday lives, they understand your hectic and crazy schedule and still find time to check-in on YOU. And when you finally get to talk, it's like you never missed a beat.
How to Add
If you read through those questions and felt a pit in your stomach, know you are not alone. So many of us have found ourselves in situations and relationships surrounded by people who exist, but don’t add anything to your life. Know your community, your tribe is out there and there are three things you can do to get one step closer to adding.
1. Engage in activities you enjoy, even if you have to go alone. You would be surprised the amount of fun you have when you aren’t worried about if anyone else is having fun. Stop waiting on someone to do things with you. Live the life you love and everything else will fall into place. You would be surprised what you find when you aren’t looking for it.
2. Step outside your own bubble and try different things. It’s easier said than done, but in an effort to find new people to add to your life, you have to break out of your same routine. Be fearless, even in baby steps.
3. Approach your interactions with people as opportunities to make new connections. Many people are often in search of the same things you are looking for. Be open to new conversations with people you never would have imagined talking to.
“There are no strangers; only friends you haven’t met yet”
- William Butler Yeats